Blinky Season

Written 12-3-14

Flashing holiday light displays are not the only blinking lights of the season. With all the extra shoppers, parties, shows, events, weather-related accidents, auto traffic gets rather jammed! While being stuck in traffic, I find myself enjoying the variety of ways people use their turn signals. What kind of turn signal user are you?

Premature Blinkers – Traffic is going nowhere. Everyone is at a full stop. It will take four signal turnovers to get past the current crossroad and someone is already blinking that they want to turn. It’s as though they think that by turning on the blinkers the traffic will hurry up!

Buffalo Blinkers – Usually a over-sized pickup or SUV driver. They see a partial opening in traffic, turn on the blinker and immediately drift into the adjoining lane. They dare the other drivers to hit them!

Too Cool for Driving School Courtesy Blinkers – Some driver is operating their vehicle engine at much higher RPMs than anyone around them. They see an opening, drift over into the other lane. When they are 4/5ths in the new lane they provide one courtesy blink.

Sympathy Blinkers – These drivers are either overly inattentive, or simply rude and selfish. They haven’t pre-positioned themselves to where they are going, or they feel their lives are more important than anyone around them. For example, traffic is being altered from two lanes into one lane. Most attentive drivers see the new arrangement and begin to queue up into the single lane. However, some drivers will proceed to the head of the merge area, turn on their blinkers and demand sympathy from a diver that has already been waiting their turn!

All American Blinkers – These all-star drivers love the hear the sound of their turn signals. They signal everywhere. They blink getting on freeways. They blink getting off freeways. They blink in parking lots. They blink in drive-through fast food restaurants. They blink at gas stations – they think the blinker will help them reserve their favorite gas pump!

Nervous Nellie Blinkers – Everyone is speeding down the freeway. Something up ahead is bringing all traffic to a complete stop. Everyone simply starts using their brakes to slow down some but one driver immediately elevates to DEFCON 1 status and activates their FLASHERS! These are the truest blinkers – they treasure the opportunities to use those FLASHERS!

These are the blinkers I’ve seen. Have I missed any? What blinkers have you seen?

Happy Blinky Season!